There was a time when I lost myself.

And honestly, it took me a long time to realize just how much of myself I had lost.

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For most of my 20+ years as an educator, I loved my work. I loved teaching. I loved connecting with people. I loved knowing that what I did mattered. I was also heavily involved in committees, boards and the many things that come with being someone who cares deeply and wants to contribute. For more than a decade, I became very good at doing what people needed, wanted and expected of me. And somewhere along the way, I lost hold of who I was.

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It didn't happen all at once. I started feeling immense pressure. The pressure turned into feeling overwhelmed. The overwhelm turned into frustration. And then, little by little, the thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, projections and emotional dysregulation started sneaking in. I would come home frustrated, replaying conversations and wondering why someone had said what they said — or hadn't done what I thought they should have done. And here's the thing... I had the university education. I attended the professional development workshops. I learned about communication, teamwork, collaboration and conflict resolution. I knew the techniques. And I used them.

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Yet I still took things personally. I still made assumptions when I didn't understand someone's behaviour, actions — or lack thereof. I still replayed conversations in my head. I still reacted internally to other people's reactions. I had spent years learning how to communicate with other people. I hadn't yet learned how to truly listen to myself.

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By 2010, I hit rock bottom. It wasn't just emotional. It wasn't just mental. It wasn't just physical. And yes... it was spiritual too. I experienced a full-blown mental, emotional, physical and spiritual burnout. I knew I had lost the person I truly was, but I didn't know how to find my way back. I was going through a depression with fear and anger residing pretty intensely inside me. I was determined to stay away from medication. That was my personal decision, and I was determined — without doubt — to figure out what had happened to me and what I needed to change so that I would never, and I mean never, fall into the trap of losing myself like that again.

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But first... I needed to find myself. Or at least hear myself. See myself. And strengthen the part of me that was still there.

I needed peace of mind. Because my mind would not stop. I replayed negative experiences and situations over and over again, day in and day out. I couldn't seem to free myself from the voice inside my head that kept questioning, analyzing, assuming and going back over what had already happened. So I started searching. For several years, I read. I attended workshops. I explored different approaches. I learned a little here and a little there. And one by one, I began discovering practical techniques, tools and strategies that helped me hear my thoughts, release strong emotions and recognize what belonged to me — and what belonged to other people. Without realizing, I was becoming more and more self-aware and putting it into practice. 

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Then one day, something became very clear.

I realized I had abandoned the joyful little girl I once was in order to become the person I believed everyone else wanted me to be. At the same time, I had unknowingly memorialized the hurt, criticism and painful moments of my past. Until those voices had become louder than my own voice. That realization changed everything.

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Over the following years, I became a student of myself. I learned how my thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, emotions and reactions were influencing the way I experienced my life. I learned practical ways to become more self-aware, regulate my emotions, calm my nervous system and reconnect with myself. Little by little, I stopped reacting automatically and began responding with greater clarity, intention and peace. Not perfectly. I believe being human means continually growing, learning and adapting. It doesn't mean achieving perfection.

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Emotional Fitness®

by Warren Redman, former psychotherapist and creator of the internationally recognized 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness®

One of the most important parts of my journey was Emotional Fitness®. I initially enrolled because I wanted to help myself. What happened next changed the direction of my life. I became an Instructor and eventually attained the designation of Master of Emotional Fitness® under Warren Redman personal mentorship. 

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For me, the designation was never the most important part. The transformation was.

I discovered a structured way of listening to myself and others without judgment, analysis, criticism or trying to fix. I began to understand that true communication has to be internalized before it can be externalized.

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That was a big realization for me. Because learning the tools and actually living the tools are two very different things.

And I still practice them. Yes -I still have moments when I have strong negative emotions. I still have subconscious and un-serving thoughts and beliefs from past programming and experiences. I still have to go through difficult life circumstances and situations which are outside of my control. I still get triggered occasionally. I still have to stop, listen and come back to myself.

The difference is that now I recognize what is happening.

And I know what to do next.

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From Experience to Mindfit4Life™

As I continued learning, practicing and putting the pieces together, I began connecting the different areas of self-awareness into something that made sense to me as a whole. That became the foundation of what I call Mindfit4Life™.

It has become clear to me that there is a strong connection between self-awareness, emotional fitness®, power listening™ and self-leadership. 

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If we want to communicate better, if we want to strengthen our relationships, if we want to navigate conflicts differently, if we want to stop taking everything personally, if we want to live more fully and freely, regardless of what is happening around us... we have to begin with ourselves. We have to be able to hear ourselves. Know ourselves. Understand what is ours and what isn't. And then learn how to truly listen to another human being without getting in the way.

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That is where I see the connection between self-awareness and what I call Power Listening™.

Together, they create something I believe is incredibly important: self-leadership in practice — humans communicating with humans, and humans learning how to live a fully joyful and meaningful life.

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The Ultimate Test: Life Changed Everything

In 2023, my husband, Daniel, became ill with cancer.

My love.

My husband.

My partner for 33 years.

Life changed.

My business plans went on hold because there was somewhere else I needed to be. I needed to support him.

The final year and a half of his life became about metastatic brain cancer, a stroke, countless appointments, difficult decisions, caregiving and simply trying to navigate what was happening in front of us.

And then, on December 18, 2024, Daniel died.

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There is no way to make that sentence easier.

He died.

And I was heartbroken.

This was / is by far one of the most difficult losses humans go through.

People sometimes asked me how I managed. Especially without medication.

The honest answer? 

Each day I was fiercely aware of how I felt and what I was thinking. Then I listened deeply.

Some days I cried. Some days I laughed. Some days I did both within five minutes. And being completely honest, most days I offered myself my self-leadership foundational tools... Of course I talked a lot to my super-intelligent dog, Max.

 

Life didn't stop being hard because I had learned these tools.

The tools didn't take away my grief. They didn't make me stronger than everyone else. They didn't make me immune to pain.

But something important did happen.

For the first time in my life, I didn't lose myself inside the pain.

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Yes, I was heartbroken... but not hopeless. I grieved deeply... yet somehow remained deeply grateful. I missed my husband every single day... and I could still experience moments of genuine joy without feeling guilty for smiling.

That surprised me.

The tools didn't remove my grief.

They gave me something to lean on while I moved through it.

 

2025

I gave myself 2025.

I needed to grieve. Really grieve. Not rush through it. Not pretend I was fine. Not turn grief into another thing I had to accomplish.

I allowed myself to go through the grieving journey while using the very structure and techniques I teach. I knew enough about myself by then to understand that avoiding what I was feeling would not make it disappear.

So I listened.

I felt.

I cried.

I questioned.

I remembered.

I laughed.

I missed him.

And I kept coming back to myself.

At the same time, I continued doing some work behind the scenes — continuing to develop my business, my offers and the direction of Mindfit4Life™.

But I wasn't trying to force anything.

Some things needed time.

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2026 — Renewal

And that brings me to 2026.

Renewal.

Rebuilding.

Reconnecting.

Reclaiming.

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I am not the same woman who walked into that burnout years ago.

And I am not the same woman who walked through the loss of her husband.

I've lived a lot. I've learned a lot. I've lost a lot. And I've found a lot.

Most importantly, I've learned that self-awareness isn't something we achieve once and then check off a list. It is something we practice. Again. And again. And again.

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Because life keeps happening.

 

People push buttons we wish they wouldn't. Conversations don't always go the way we hoped. Relationships change. Work changes. People leave. People disappoint us. We disappoint ourselves. Things happen that we never saw coming.

The goal isn't to eliminate all of that.

The goal is to learn how to meet it differently.

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Today, I continue to experience life's joys and sorrows, challenges and changes, just like everyone else. I still have moments when I get frustrated. I still have moments when I need to catch myself. I still need to practice the very tools I teach.

And honestly?

I'm okay with that.

Because now I recognize it.

And I know how to find my way back. Quickly. 

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That is why I created Mindfit4Life™ Academy.

Not because I have found some magical formula that makes difficult things disappear. I haven't.

And not because I want to tell you what you want to hear.

I want to tell you what I have learned to be true through living it.

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Let's meet difficult challenges with greater ease

At home.

At work.

In our relationships.

In conversations.

In conflict.

In leadership.

And in those moments when someone pushes exactly the button we wish they hadn't.

This is where self-awareness and Power Listening™ becomes self-leadership.

And this is what I am sharing with you. 

Not perfection.

Not quick fixes.

Not another list of things you're supposed to do to become a better communicator, leader, partner, parent, employee or human being.

Practical skills that you can actually experience from the inside out.

Skills that help you understand yourself more deeply. Recognize your thoughts, beliefs, assumptions and emotional patterns. Listen differently. Communicate differently. Reduce reactivity. Navigate conflict. Strengthen relationships.

And most importantly, learn to lead yourself — at work and in life.